When you are thinking about getting married, the chances are you have been approached by one or both of your future husbands or wives and they have either asked you for some information that they think might be useful to you in the future, or they have asked you to give them information on a pre-matrimonial investigation (often called a pre-matrimonial investigation or pre-marriage examination). You have probably thought it over a hundred times - do I even want this information? It certainly doesn't help my marriage one bit.
The reality is that a pre-matrimonial investigation is not necessarily a bad thing. In fact, in many cases it is exactly what you need to protect yourself and your family from a troubled marriage. But this is not what you are signing up for when you agree to have an investigation conducted on you. As you may already know, there are two sides to every story. And the more you learn about the man you are interested in for instance, the more reason you have to dig really deep and find out everything you can about him. The worse thing you can do in an investigation is to not find anything substantial, or to find something that ends up harming you and your husband.
What can you expect during a pre-matrimonial investigation? Depending on who you are speaking with and how far down the rabbit hole you are going, you could very well end up speaking with one or both of your husband's future girlfriends. Of course, no one should ever expect this! But what does that say to the woman you are marrying?
If you learn that the bride involved in the investigation was indeed dating one of the men from her high school class, or perhaps a man who is known to her only by his first name, that may hurt just as much as learning that she is seeing her groom for the first time. In the case of a former boyfriend, or a former love interest, the hurt can be even greater. The fact that someone who knew the bride from before the marriage was casually mentioning that person to her during dinners or other times says a lot. Not to mention that such information could easily get out of hand if it is not controlled or kept tightly held.
Just as important as learning what you can about the bride is what you shouldn't know. You need to ask yourself some tough questions: For instance, has the bride and groom ever discussed getting a divorce? If not, why not? If they never discuss the possibility of a separation and a divorce, that could say a lot about the state of their relationship. It also says a lot about the bride, as she needs to be very forthcoming and honest about all of the matters with which she is concerned during the pre-matrimonial investigation.
There is also the possibility that the bride and groom have been living under the same roof for some time now. If this is the case, there is a good chance that there may be some marital affairs going on under the pretense of being a long-term relationship. That means that the pre-matrimonial investigation will need to delve into those matters as well. If the answers are found to be satisfactory, then the pre-matrimonial investigation can be concluded.
The reality is that a pre-matrimonial investigation is not necessarily a bad thing. In fact, in many cases it is exactly what you need to protect yourself and your family from a troubled marriage. But this is not what you are signing up for when you agree to have an investigation conducted on you. As you may already know, there are two sides to every story. And the more you learn about the man you are interested in for instance, the more reason you have to dig really deep and find out everything you can about him. The worse thing you can do in an investigation is to not find anything substantial, or to find something that ends up harming you and your husband.
What can you expect during a pre-matrimonial investigation? Depending on who you are speaking with and how far down the rabbit hole you are going, you could very well end up speaking with one or both of your husband's future girlfriends. Of course, no one should ever expect this! But what does that say to the woman you are marrying?
If you learn that the bride involved in the investigation was indeed dating one of the men from her high school class, or perhaps a man who is known to her only by his first name, that may hurt just as much as learning that she is seeing her groom for the first time. In the case of a former boyfriend, or a former love interest, the hurt can be even greater. The fact that someone who knew the bride from before the marriage was casually mentioning that person to her during dinners or other times says a lot. Not to mention that such information could easily get out of hand if it is not controlled or kept tightly held.
Just as important as learning what you can about the bride is what you shouldn't know. You need to ask yourself some tough questions: For instance, has the bride and groom ever discussed getting a divorce? If not, why not? If they never discuss the possibility of a separation and a divorce, that could say a lot about the state of their relationship. It also says a lot about the bride, as she needs to be very forthcoming and honest about all of the matters with which she is concerned during the pre-matrimonial investigation.
There is also the possibility that the bride and groom have been living under the same roof for some time now. If this is the case, there is a good chance that there may be some marital affairs going on under the pretense of being a long-term relationship. That means that the pre-matrimonial investigation will need to delve into those matters as well. If the answers are found to be satisfactory, then the pre-matrimonial investigation can be concluded.
Comments
Post a Comment